Miscarriages Hurt Men Too

I wonder if some men are not as devastated as women after a miscarriage (and that certainly doesn’t include all men) because they don’t bond with the baby until it is born. Because the mother carries the baby for nine months, she may bond earlier than dad.This may explain some situations, but some men are just as devastated as their partners. I was not as devastated, and I think that may be because it had not become real to me at that stage. But it certainly had to my wife.Peter Burdon

I think I’m right in saying that men don’t visit boards like this one much to discuss things like miscarriages. I never did when we had ours. But I did use one to help me stop smoking 6 years ago. I think its all about the male fear of expressing feelings. I didn’t have to do that on the stop smoking site. I think it would help men to communicate with other men about these issues.But this site is also important for women, as it may be the best way they can understand a miscarriage from a male perspective.Peter Burdon

One thing I never did when writing my ebook was look at how men may react at different ages. I think this may be insignificant, but are older men able to cope better?I would suggest that this is unlikely, because everyone seems to react differently anyway. But it would be interesting to hear from men in their teens and perhaps those in their 40s who have gone through a miscarriage.I was 35 when we had our first, which is certainly not young. But then again my father was 49 when I was born.Peter Burdon

Thankfully, we never had to deal with a still birth. But when I spoke to men for my book, Miscarriages Hurt Men Too, their descriptions seemed overwhelming. It would be great to hear from those who have unfortunately experienced this first hand. It would also be interesting to hear how if affected partners in different ways.Peter Burdon

People seem to take different amounts of time to get over a miscarriage. For some, it will live with them forever, but others may find it does not affect them in the same way. The good news is that more than 95 percent of women who have a miscarriage will mother a child.This will not comfort them in the months after a miscarriage, but it will mean they will still achieve all the joys of motherhood. The same principle applies to men.Peter Burdon

I found I reacted more sensitively around my wife when she had her second and third miscarriages. That was because I had read some information the first time around about what she would want in the form of support.Have women out there seen similar reactions from their partners, or have they found they have needed to give him more support.If there was one thing I learnt writing my book, Miscarriages Hurt Men Too, it was that everyone reacts differently. This can even mean the male partner is affected as badly or worse than the female.If you are unfortunate enough to have had more than one miscarriage, how did your male partner react.Peter Burdon

I’ve heard a number of stories about the support both partners get after a miscarriage. It seems to vary a bit between different countries.Has anyone had a very good or very bad experience of this. Some stories are hard to believe, but I think it comes back to the fact that those who have not experienced a miscarriage first hand have no idea how to support their friends and family.This needs to change. Maybe there should be somewhere these people can go to find out what to do and understand how the parents may be feeling.Peter Burdon

A major reason for setting up this forum was to get the views of men about miscarriages. When I wrote the ebook, I did so because there was very little out there about how men deal with miscarriages. This is something both men and women need to understand, but men are often shy about coming forward.We welcome any such input from either men or women who have stories to tell about the male perspective. This is an important issue for both partners, so viewers would welcome any posts related to this.Peter Burdon

It would also be interesting to find out if some countries are worse than others with miscarriage rates. While one in four pregnancies is meant to end in one, this does not mention in what areas they are more prevalent. I guess third world countries would be worse, but figures may not be taken there and more may go un-noticed.I guess one thing would be the same all over the world and that is the range of emotions experienced by both men and women.Peter Burdon